h1

#FreeAnissa

November 17, 2009

I can be really shy.

My friends usually give me THAT look – the “what are you kidding me pft!” look.

But its true. When I dont know you, or Im not consciously making an effort to branch out and be brave and meet you, Im shy.

Its especially bad when I am in awe of someone.

People like JustOneMiss who I was brave towards and reached out to and found an awesome friend (THE POWER OF THE INTERNET PEOPLE!) The same goes for MissGrace (who I charmed with a care package at the office). And all the ladies of twitter Ive come to love so much (@ChibiJeebs, @WheMomDrinksRum, @BiddyMcBidson, @RewritingKel, and all you other loves I cant remember in my migraine-y stressed out state).

And then there are the people I worship from afar. The people I am in such awe of, such shell-shock around, that i cant get the brave up, cant get the guts up to speak to, even through a forum like the internet that is so user friendly and padded. People like @NakedJen whom I have fallen very in love with through reading her blog and feeling her welcoming love.

People like @AnissaMayhew who I have never @-ed, never commented to, never braved a word towards. And yet I follow her. I read her blog constantly. I follow Aiming Low because of her. I Aim Low.

And I was hit just as those brave people who got the guts up to make a solid and wonderful friend.

And I know there will be opportunity for me to make that friend, for me to meet her, for the two of us to laugh and make jokes, to aim low and talk about boobs, to sass and wink.

So, keep Anissa in your thoughts, like shes in mine. If you pray, please do that for her.

The world needs the light she brings.

Anissa, Ive never met you but I want to and I know I will love you just like everyone else. I promise to be brave and speak up.

<3

h1

Girl Talk Thursday and Boy Talk Friday: The Fictional Five

November 17, 2009

This is late because my computer ate it for a little while sorry. xo.

My five came fairly quickly to mind:

1. Spike Spiegel from Cowboy Beebop

The first time I saw CBB i was all “hoooo chit!” yeah he smokes and he drinks but hes a fuckin SPACE COWBOY for christ sake! those are only bonuses!

2. Jim Halpert from the office

I mean come on. Cute, funny, the tricks on dwight! the smiles at the camera, the obvious love for pam, the half-assed yet awesome halloween costumes? WIN.
3. the tapatio guy
I know its weird but im obsessed with this man. I MEAN LOOK AT HIM. The ’stache, the hat, the Muy Salsa! Hes a stone fox.
4. Indiana MotherFuckin Jones
I was literally in love with Indiana Jones. Literally. My mother worried for me. I still absolutely adore him. I even had an Indiana Jones jacket that I have since given to my sister. Hot, rugged, sweaty, strong, and such a hero. Fuck archeology, give me a grave robber.
5. Malcolm Reynolds and Han Solo for a tie. (And dont tell me its not allowed!)
These two hold that special place in my heart. The scruffy misbehavin’ nerfherder tight pants place. The captain of the best ship ever place. The I MELT IN MY PANTS place.
I have no words past that.
UNF.

 

 

Somehow I managed to get Jesse to talk about this too. I feel like thats winning enough. He had a little bit harder time than I did but came up with a list I am mildly envious of.

1. Leeloo

I had a crush on her as soon as I saw her and it hasn’t let up a bit. The beautiful and exotic Leeloo. The Fifth Element. The perfect being sent to save mankind from certain destruction. An exquisite blend of self-sufficient, elegant badassery and unguarded love-me-now fragility. She’s sexually naïve, but not in a childish or off-putting way. I get the feeling I might be able to kiss her, but never without her permission.

2. Tank Girl

Rude, dirty, offputtingly eccentric, but still irresistible. Tank Girl is an unapologetic badass who doesn’t know when to quit. She’s fiercely loving and loyal, but won’t put up with bullshit. She also would be great in the sack; sweaty, grimy, might-as-well-burn-the-mattress-now sex, and that’d just be starting off the night. Oh, and you know she wouldn’t wait till after sex to smoke, she’d be doing it the whole time.

3. Chani

Since my first read through of Dune I’ve had a thing for Chani. The Fremen concubine of Paul Muad’Dib, Chani is hard and weathered but young and graceful. Beautiful and passionate and absolutely deadly with a crysknife. And those eyes… those blue-in-blue, terrifying eyes.

4. Ygritte

Fire touched and ice-hard, Ygritte is a spear wife of the free folk. She is a combination of girlishly naïve and wise beyond her years in a way that is nothing but endearing. She took some time to grow on me, but she managed to work her way to one of my favorite fictional women in a very short time. I certainly wouldn’t mind giving this fur-clad vixen the Lord’s Kiss.

5. Sabriel

Sabriel is dark and powerful, beautiful and odd. She probably has the best hygiene out of anyone on my list, but also has some of the dirtiest work: battling demons and the zombies they raise from death. She’s sometimes fragile, often scared, but always strong enough to face the task at hand, even if she needs a bit of help.

Thats our girl and boy talk. whats yours? Girl Talk Thursday

h1

The Dream

November 13, 2009

I have vivid dreams. Always have, hopefully always will.


They have plot and character development and are usually just fantastic. Some last for what seems like days, others are just snippets of time.


And Tuesday night I had this gem:

My sister and I are in a van, driving to a house for a between two thanksgiving meals get together. We  get to the house and she tosses our backpacks into the trunk of the van.
We carefully walk around the beautiful (if flat) garden to that path that takes us to the front door. I got that feeling of knowing something without it being explained – the garden is newly planted and very important to the person we’re visiting.

We do the “knock-knock but we’re friends and walk right in” thing. The house is huge with dark wooden floors and oriental rugs. The open living room is off to the left, with a huge square table and low couches and pillows around it.
A woman beams up from the couch, huge and friendly smile and the room get a lot lighter. You know, in that sudden shift of light cause its a dream way.

I instantly recognize her as NakedJen, despite her lack of nudity. She stands up and gives me a huge hug. My sister has disappeared.

We’re sitting across the table from each other, NakedJen on a huge purple pillow with her legs folded and my leaning against a couch. She is having an ice cream thanksgiving. The table is COVERED in different types of ice cream, sherbets, sorbets, toppings, bottom-ings and spoons. Everyone is grinning huge grins and laughing their asses off.

My giant blender of ice cream is white and orange and pink. I dig in happily with a spoon thinking to myself how glad I am I decided to make a thick milshake-smoothie and slurp the orange and pink happily, despite realizing I dont like how it tastes.

My sister and I stand and NakedJen joins us as we tell her we should get going soon. We have another thanksgiving to get to but this was so much fun! We both receive giant loving hugs from her and I realize I stink.

I ask if I can use her shower and she says of course but is out of soap. I tell her it’s not a problem and snag the keys from my sister to go get my backpack from the car.

Its pitch black out and smells wet. I carefully skirt the garden and walk the long parking lot (think grocery store lot) to the van. I open the front door looking for the bag. I can’t find it and realize my sister put it in the back of the van when we first got there.

I close up and walk to the back. Chandler and Ross from Friends are hanging out across the way at their car. I open the back and we have a cheerful banter between the two of us. It’s very pleasant from what I remember. I move Terry’s backpack to get to mine but have trouble and fumble around. Somehow Terry’s bag ends up on my back and Im still juggling around inside the van. It has started to rain.

Chandler and Ross are laughing in a not-unpleasant but unhelpful way.

The bumper falls off. It’s sunny now and very bright outside.

Chandler and Ross say something about how hard it is to reattach a bumper by yourself, and how you have to be really strong.

I find my backpack and sling it on my back with Terry’s and lift the bumper, which is now made out of layered packing tape. (I know, right?) Despite that it’s still really heavy, but I lift it and snap it back into place. Chandler and Ross stop laughing and make that face. The surprise double take blank face.

I put away Terry’s backpack and we start talking more. Ross says that we should race back to the house BUT BE CAREFUL OF THE GARDEN! He and Chandler go the long way around the (ever larger) garden while I walk up the path.

I open the door and walk in to a bright kitchen with red gingham curtains and something cooking in the oven. It’s a different house. Children run past me, a softly blond boy and a dark-haired girl. Both look around 10. They throw open the door and run outside to play.

I stand at the sink and look out the window at them playing on the grass, carefully to avoid the still expanding garden (despite the shift in location). I turn away for a moment as someone else slams through the back door. Hello’s and hugs are exchanged.

A bit of time passes in that swoosh time has passed just now but you didnt know did you cause this is a dream kind of way.

Theres a rattling at the back screen door. I look over and its the kids. They ask us to let them in. We all look back curiously, wondering why they dont just let themselves in.

Theyre standing side by side.

I realize suddenly that theyre demons and they can’t come in because they havent been invited – opening the door means they have free reign. The hair on the back of my neck rises and its dark outside again. I shout at everyone to not let them in. Everyone freezes.

The demon children start gnashing long sharp teeth and slamming on the screen, howling at us to let them in. I’m terrified.

I look out the window. The girl has run up to say hi and come back inside. I tell her to wait and just play a little longer. She says she wants to come in but I ask her to wait a while again. This goes on for moments or for ever, then shes skipping around the corner to the screen door, out of my sight.

The next I see one of the demons is dragging her down in front of the window and shes struggling to get away. I reach for her groping hands and drag her in through the window as she kicks at the demon. Shes panicked. I look for the little boy and hes still happily playing in the grass by the garden.

Then I woke up.

Sometimes dreams mean things and sometimes they dont. Sometimes theres truth and reality and sometimes there isnt. Remind me to tell you about the snail dream sometime. Its reoccurring – I wont forget it, dont worry.

But that dream was SO SO vivid. Jesse and I woke up about the same time and talked about it and he agreed it was pretty effed up.

I just hope it wont come back.

h1

Grey’s Anatomy

November 11, 2009

Since the beginning I have mocked those girls. The girls who would block off hours of their week to sit and watch certain shows.

Highest among ridicule was one show I felt was worse that the rest: Grey’s Anatomy.

Doctors with tumors have sex, cheat on each other, and watch surgeries.

Whats the draw.

And then I got sick. A cold – a bad cold, thank you – knocked me out and had me in my jammies on the couch flipping channels.

It just happened to be a day where lifetime decided to do a G.A. marathon.

LAAAME

and intriguing.

I have to admit, Im hooked.

Even as I type this, Grey’s is on in the background. 6pm – 9pm is my grey’s time.

And I relish the guilt pleasure of it.

(But seriously? Thats a lot of tumors.)

h1

The Birthday

November 9, 2009

Thanks to everyone who helped make my birthday so god damn awesome (Erica, Meghan and Jesse especially. And of course my awesome family).

I love you <3

for more pictures see my flickr set