On Friendship and the Internet

June 4, 2010

I need the ability to be anywhere I want whenever I want. Because it would make hugging the people I care about a lot easier.

Or they all just need to move to California.

I have never been good at making in-person friends. I have a few very good friends I keep as close as possible, but its hard for me to make new ones. I’m shy and awkward and ultra self-conscious in person. Besides Meghan and Jesse and Nate, my best friends are people I’ve met online – Beren and Leah for example.

Beren is my Soulie and Leah is my cross-country twin. Ive known them both at least 6 years and I love them dearly. Theres nothing I wouldnt do if they needed it. Ive only met Leah once (shes currently in Cincinnati) and Ive never met Beren (though I will in August – he lives in New York), and yet, again, there’s nothing I wouldnt do for them.

So when people I’ve met online that I like very much are hurting it hurts me too. I guess Im just better at being friends with people who cant see me being awkward, who dont see my dirty jeans and bitten nails, that Im covered in cat hair most days, that I humm the Star Wars theme to myself when I pee at work. Its easier to let myself be close to people who cant judge me as much I guess.

So, dearest online friends. I love you. Please know that. And that if you ask it, I will do almost anything for you that I can.


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One comment

  1. Minus the cat hair, I pretty much love your description of yourself, b/c it sounds like me. Except it’s not Star Wars for me, it’s this drum march that we used to play when I was in the marching band. Playing trombone.

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