The Hair Wrap

I had started (read: 4 sentences) a post about Gwen Bell‘s #BestOf09 and then I saw something that took my breath away.

In a BAD way.

Do you all remember HAIR WRAPPING?

you know, embroidery floss wrapper around a chunk of your hair with maybe a bead and several different colors and then it would start to smell funny cause you couldn’t wash it and maybe the end would come out a little and your mom would yell at you and be all IF YOU DON’T TAKE THAT OUT SOON WE’RE GOING TO HAVE TO CUT IT OUT but you didn’t want to because it was SOOO COOOOOL and all the girls at school had them?

And then KLUTZ put out the HAIR WRAPPING KIT and you just HAD to have it for your birthday / Christmas / May Day / Batmitzvah / Canadian thanksgiving / (C)Hanukkah present and then you tried to do it yourself since your mom wouldn’t help you and you dad, lets me honest, would have done it terribly, and you got about 12 stitches in and your head started to hurt and your arms got tired so you stopped and it looked ridiculous but you wouldn’t admit it cause hair wraps were SOOOOOO COOOOOOOL?

And remember when you realized that hair wrapping wasn’t really SOOOO COOOOOL and you were like EFF THIS NOISE and used all the embroidery floss for Friendship Bracelets instead but then that weird homeschool kid transferred to your school and he had like TEN hair wraps and smelled slightly of garlic and oranges but not in a good tasty way more like in a gross take a shower just cause you’re homeschooled doesn’t mean you can be dirty kind of way and then you REALLY knew hair wrapping was over?

Well apparently, not EVERYONE got that memo.

‘Cause guess what i saw today.

Can you guess?

No really. Guess.

If you’re not even going to try I’m going to stop right here.

That’s better.

MAN HAIR WRAPPING

ON A MAN

IN HIS HAIR

LIKE THIS:

(not actual photo)(duh)

And the Baby Jesus cried.

Miss Grace’s “Pipe Cleaner Craft Smackdown”

The Following Post has been YOINKED completely from Miss Grace. I tried (TWICE!) to write a post about these on my own but it just wasnt as good.

(All photos, text, and menacing Reindeer courtesy of Grace)(except the notes at the bottom)(Cause those are mine)(Not hers)(Except the pictures still are hers and they were taken on her table in her house with her HUGE FANCY CAMERA OH MAN I WANT IT)(Moving on.)

Last Night, we crafted:

Don’t mind me. I’m a goofy looking tree. Following the vague instructions made me look reasonably as pictured.

My candy cane is inexplicably large. And I have feet.

They say I’m a girl, but I don’t know for sure. I do not have feet. Why does homeboy get feet?

I have a backbone! Jigga jigga what?  I will kill you with my SPINAL COLUMN OF DOOM.

OH HAI I AM PINK AND FLUFFY FLUFFY FLUFF BALL THIS THING ON MAH BELLY IS A MUFF.  Directions sez so.

For an elf I am curiously tall. Who gave me these Christmas Uggs?  My tights are manly.

Santa Pimp Swagga G. Where my hos at? We be pimpin. BUT OH MAH JEEBUS WHAT IS THAT???

I WILL EAT YOUR BRAINZ

I KILL YOU DEAD

Um, guys? Do you know there’s a boxing tree over here trying to kick my ass? Help a brotha out?

WE ARE GREATER THAN THE SUM OF OUR PARTS. WE WILL HURT YOU BAD IN THE HEAD. SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH.

Oh noes! Reindeer zombie creepo is humpin’ on our Pink Lady.

Eep!

Confrontation is icky!

I cut you with MY SPINE!!

I KILL YOU DEAD

Santa: That’s our reindeer you jerkoff!

Elf:  Simmer down Santa. Simmer down.  Don’t make me hurt you.

You made me hurt you Santa. Me in ZOMBIEREINDEEROFDOOM hafta conquer the world now. No hard feelings?

—

Notes from Kat:

1. We really did follow the instructions. They just weren’t very good.

2. The reindeer is now under a box. In my house. Because Miss Grace didn’t want it in hers. Because it is SATAN.

3. The giant Christmas Ugg wearing elf is currently riding the reindeer.

4. The reindeer may or may not be, at this moment, eating my cat. I wouldn’t put it past him.

5. Baby Jesus might have cried a lot during last nights attempt at holiday spirit. Like, snotty sobbing tears of pain and despair. Cause really? Have you seen them?

6. Hot glue guns will burn you. A lot. And then when you get home you’ll have hot glue strings in your tank top and not know why. Because really? How does that even GET THERE?!

7. Was Gabriel like, hiding the strings in my shirt when i wasn’t looking? WAS IS THE PIMP SANTA?!

8. Maybe Jesse was doing it while i was drinking awesome apple cider and eat cheese from the cheese plate? “HAHAHA” HE SAID AS HE FLUNG GLUES OF HOT GLUE DOWN MY BRA “SHE WONT SEE IT COMING!”

9. Jesse is clearly a dick.

10. Dont even get me started on the pink fluffy snow girl thing.